If you’re a mom, you’ve got a lot on your plate. In today’s episode I’m talking to you about why taking care of yourself is anything but selfish and how you can figure out what will work for your unique spirit.

In This Episode Keita Discusses:

·       What we worry about as mothers

·       What “self love” and “self care” can actually mean for you as an individual (hint: it’s not one size fits all)

·       How journaling and painting has always helped her

Mentioned in this Episode:

How does your creative practice help you as a mama?

DM Keita on Instagram @artbykeita

Hello, and welcome to the Painty Mama Podcast. We're told that artists are poor. Throw kids in the mix and it seems impossible to thrive. While balancing motherhood, creative projects and building a business along with everything else, is hard. I believe the universe gave you your unique talents and children so you could live a full, inspiring, creative, beautiful life together. Join me for conversations about creativity, motherhood, business, and finding calm in the chaos. I'm Keita Thomas and this is the Painty Mama Podcast.

Hello, lovely. Today, I'd like to talk to you about why having a creative practice as a mom is super important.

As mothers, it's part of our purpose that we have to put our kids above ourselves in everything. And it's an honor, I see that as an honor, that I get to do that with my kids. And maybe you feel that way too? We worry about them all the time. We worry how much they're eating like, are they getting enough green stuff? And how can I hide the shredded carrots and zucchini in the muffins? And how much sleep did they get last night? If they're doing okay with their friends? If they're hitting the milestones at school and what they're learning at school? And if they're getting along well with the teachers? And are they feeling well, because they looked a bit peaky today before they set off for school and worrying while they're at school, are they too hot or too cold? Did they bring enough layers? It's always a constantly evolving game of worrying and caring and nurturing them.

But the thing is, is I just want to ask you when the last time you thought that much about how many vegetables you eat? Or when you went to bed early and you slept in late, the last time you checked in with your friends, and not just thinking: oh, I'll call her back when I've got a spare hour. That hour, I don't know about you, but literally never comes for me. And I'll put my dearest friends off and off for conversations. Because I'm just thinking "I'll get to it when I'll get to it". When was the last time that you learned something new or worked on the project that you've been meaning to get to for like 3, 6, 9 months, or you're aware enough of your own feelings and checking in with yourself as often as you worry about all those things and care about those things for your kids. I'm saying this not to add guilt or burden to you already full to the brim day, trust me, I do understand. And it can get really hard to look after yourself. And all we ever hear is about self care this self love that. I don't know about you, but I am often thinking... "what does that actually mean?" Because I don't think it's the same for every person. I just want to remind you that you matter too. That's why I'm saying this. I want you to know that you matter too.

I've struggled with a lot of these things, especially when my kids were teeny tiny. (They're six, four and three at the moment.) And in those early days, when they were really small, I snacked on the leftover crackers and the cut off crusts and I slept five hours on a good night and struggled to get a shower and never mind go get groceries and think about what healthy choices to make. And the thought of time for myself made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. And yeah, being a mom is hard. And just as we tell our kids, you can do hard things. So can you and so can I. So can we can do these hard things.

If you seriously take a moment just to look at what you made, from your body without even trying! And for those mums who didn't physically birth their babies, or grow their babies inside of them - just look at the little person that you've shaped with nothing more than a heart bursting love that you have for them. Doesn't it make sense then, that the same heart that's pouring out so much love, every waking moment, might just need a little bit of maintenance to just to stay in tip top condition? So you can keep worrying about the vegetables you can keep worrying about the bully at school that may or may not be actually bullying your kid. We need that top up all the time. And I'm saying this to you as much as I'm saying it to myself because I often need that reminder as well. That I'm not Superwoman and I can't run on no sleep, and a no carb only diet and the expectation on us, and the guilt of like trying to live up to all these hard things, it can be so damn hard to be the best for those little faces every time they look at you, and you just want to do the best that you can for them. But if we don't take care of ourselves, it actually turns into like a dry, crusty version of the very people that the universe put us here to be in the first place. And that's why our children were sent to us. Your child is sent to you for a specific reason, because you are you exactly as you are, warts and all, so that you could give your children, the heart and the life and the love that they need to flourish and learn. So if we don't take care of ourselves, it's just like a dried up riverbed with no water in it.

So what I want to ask you about is: how can you share some love back onto yourself? And as I said, Before, I don't mean like in, I'm doing air quotation marks, "self care", you know, getting your hair done, and your nails done or a bath. And that, I mean, those things are lovely. And that's a discussion for another day, but I'm talking about the deep down, fills you up and quiet the noise in your life and makes the mental worries that you carry around every day, just hush, and you can get into the flow of something.

And for me, that's painting. And when I think back has always been painting, when I've got a paint brush in my hand, I feel like I'm free. I don't worry about anything beyond the present moment. I lose track of time and a process a lot of the emotional things without actually having to like do the work, it just kind of comes in while my hands are busy.

Also, I find journaling really helps me as well, just by allowing like the unconscious thoughts that I have, and figuring out my feelings in a logical way. And it helps me to make proper sense of the thoughts and feelings that are coming up when they otherwise might not feel that logical. And it just gives me a bit of a clear mind. I'm just popping those two things out as an example, because I've figured out what my things are. And the cool thing is, it's the exact same things that helped me to deal with life when I was a kid. When I was a teenager and all angsty and had too many feelings. I used to draw. And I used to journal that's what I did. And I don't know if that's the same for everyone. But it's definitely taken me a very long time to get back to a point where I feel like I can give myself permission to do those things. Because for some reason, I thought I was being a bad mom. By taking care of that side of myself. I thought that was being selfish. But now I actually see that in the flip side. And I'm like, the most selfless thing that I could do for my children is make sure that emotionally, mentally, creatively, I'm fulfilled.

So if you take anything away from this episode today, please let it be like a permission slip from the headmaster's office to be just a bit like a kid again. And have a little think about what really made the little you feel okay with the world all those years ago.

And maybe you can just do a little bit of that.

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today. I'd love to know how your creative practice helps you as a mama. You can find me or DM me over on Instagram @artbykeita, or you can connect with me over at my website, keitathomas.com wishing you a beautiful week and I'll see you next time.